What was it like before
by Areno Houkou
Summary: A sequel to my first oneshot Last Chance that involves the relationship of Inuyasha and Kikyou in the past and what it means now to Kagome and Inuyasha. Summary sucks but please R&R.


Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the series it belongs to Rumiko Takahashi. Please don't sue me I need my money to go to college.

This is set shortly after **Last Chance** and is a small follow up to before with some influence of my opinion on Kikyou's character.

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Deep in the forest away from all eyes, a stream of simple beauty flows and creates a calm and tranquil atmosphere enjoyed by all who pass it or stop to refresh themselves. It is here that Inuyasha and Kagome are sharing a quiet moment alone in peace. The warmth of the sun mixed with the serene atmosphere infected the two with a languid feeling and so neither truly wants to move. To him there was nothing better than sitting up against a tree with Kagome resting on his chest.

Inuyasha felt completely at peace in this setting. While not uncommon it was still only an occasional feeling. Now he was focused his new life with Kagome and on piecing together the entire story of what had transpired over the past five or so years and far beyond that back to when he loved Kikyou, when Onigumo ruined their chances of a happy life…or so he thought. This was one issue that he wanted to talk with Kagome about: the true nature of his relationship with Kikyou. Kagome only asked what his life used to be like with her, asked him to tell her stories of his life from two hundred or so years ago; sometimes he could never finish the story when she began to cry.

"Ne, Inuyasha?" Kagome had been staring at him for quite sometime as he mulled over his past. Leaning her head against his chest she let the flow of his rhythmic breathing lull her slightly. When he made a small 'hmm' in response she continued, "I just thought of something I wanted to ask you back by the well."

Inuyasha let out another 'hmm', "Yeah and what's that?" he asked softly while twitching his ears forward.

"Just what did Kikyou say to you when she whispered in your ear?" She questioned.

Letting out a sigh and opening his eyes Inuyasha looked off ahead into the forest and was silent for a moment before answering, "She asked me if I was going to keep my promise, if I was going to Hell with her." He looked down at Kagome and with a gentle smile said, "I told her that my place was with you in this world."

Kagome lifted her head to stare at his eyes, trying to see if he was still in pain over Kikyou's death. Seeing something akin to sadness in those amber pools she began to ask another question, but was stopped by Inuyasha when he spoke again, "No, I don't regret that decision and I didn't hesitate to answer her."

Taken aback slightly, Kagome wondered for a moment how he knew her question. She saw Inuyasha's left ear twitching slightly, which she had come to understand to mean that he was thinking, and decided to rest her head against his chest again and wait for what he was about to say. As more time began to pass and Inuyasha had yet to speak, Kagome opted to give him a verbal push.

"Inuyasha?" She felt him shift his head at her soft questioning and continued, "What was it like…before I came to this time and before you were sealed, how did Kikyou love you?"

"How did she love me?" he repeated, "Well…I'm not sure she really did. What I felt for her was probably not a complete and undying love, or else I wouldn't be here. I think that I loved and cared for her because she was the first being to ever acknowledge me as something more than trash." Seeing that Kagome wanted him to continue, he thought back on his times with Kikyou. "I saw a side of Kikyou that very few others ever saw, the womanish side where she wanted to be loved and seen as a woman and not just a priestess. That's probably why she started to feel for me, because I looked at her as another person, not as the jewel's protector. It wasn't long after we admitted how we felt that she found Onigumo and you know how it went from there." He fell silent and remained that way, still looking into the forest and his past.

"In my time she would be a tragic character." Kagome stated while sitting up.

"Tragic?" Inuyasha asked as he brought his head back to look at her.

Kagome nodded and began to explain, "She was beautiful, powerful, intelligent, and very compassionate, however it was her compassion that lead to her death the first time. There's the first part of the tragedy: Tragic Irony in that what made her strong also killed her. Then she had to experience the pain of an undead life for so long, which is tragic in that the souls she would have helped to pass on before were what sustained her. Fueled by misplaced anger and driven by a desire to obtain some form of revenge she walked this land in that cold and lifeless clay body without a clue as to what really happened. I don't think she ever really understood what happened half a century ago until she died." Kagome paused for a moment to gather her thoughts some more and to word her next sentence so that there would be no misunderstanding on Inuyasha's part. "I used to hate Kikyou for trying to hurt you or take you away from me, even more so when I realized I loved you, but after the dust settled on the day Naraku died I finally saw how sad her existence must have been. When we went to her grave for the first time together, I asked her forgiveness for my past actions and prayed to Kami that she would know I had done the same." Kagome said the last part softly and gazed into the forest as Inuyasha had earlier. Said hanyou now set his mind to telling her that the matter would never have to be questioned again.

"Kagome, I'm not sure how my life would have turned out to be if I had taken Kikyou as my mate instead of meeting you. It could have turned out to be just as good as what I have with you now, it could have been better, it could have been worse, but what I do know is that here and now I love you and only you," he pulled her into his arms and rested his hands, one hand just above the other, on top of her navel, "and I swore the night you became mine that I would protect you and love you until the day we die. I will always have a place for Kikyou in my heart, you should know that by now, but that was then and this is now. I will live here with you and we," he said as he tightened his grip around her belly, "are going to see, do, face, and go through many things in the future. It's time to leave the past…in the past. Ok?"

Kagome turned in his embrace and gave him a soft kiss on the lips. "Ok. I'll leave it there where it belongs. We'd better get back to the village before it gets dark and Shippou starts to worry."

Inuyasha gave a small 'Keh' in reply before standing up with her on his back and sprinting off to their home.

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Well here's my second attempt at writing. Even though my first story was written just under a year ago, I thought to wait and improve my writing skills. Though there's still a lot that the writing lacks, I think it turned out…ok. But who cares R&R please, but no raging flames about Kikyou's portrayal here, just some well rounded criticism. Oh and I probably won't be writing a full story based on these one shots (sorry) and don't quote me on tragedy or tragic figures in literature. 


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